Dear Santa,

Jeff here. You may remember me. I was born and raised in Alliance, Ohio, a mere 14 miles southeast of Canton, Ohio. One of three children. Grew up in a ranch-style home. My mother and father owned a bakery. Oh, now you remember? Of course you do. The cookies brought it all back, huh?

Well, some time has passed and, well, I’m 40 years old this year. Life is moving along at a swift pace, and I just wanted to take a few minutes and give you my list for the year, a list that boarders on the impossible. But why break tradition, right? Adults are always asking for impossible, nearly unreachable, things.

The children in our lives, more often than not, get what they want — that’s what makes childhood childhood and adulthood adulthood.

Well, here goes, a modest list from a modest man.

I’d like very much for the monster in the sky to put a stop to the snow machine — if only long enough so that I can pry the collected snow from my four wheel wells. Seriously, folks, I knew it snowed here, but I didn’t realize this is where snow for the rest of the planet was manufactured.

I’d like very much if the monster can hold the most snow for March, when my two sons visit me. I want very much for them to see what I’m complaining about and realize that I’m completely justified.

I’d like very much if people, including myself, can pull their heads out of their own pride and vanity and realize that they are simply animals walking upright.

I’d like very much if you can give me one full calendar year without automobile repairs of any kind.

I’d like very much if you can give me more self-awareness and wisdom, and the peace of mind when I confront those matters I cannot change.

I’d like very much if I can have another year with my dearest friend on this earth, Louis. In many years, he is the father I wish I would have had growing up.

I’d like very much if you could give me back my imagination. When I was young, it was my fuel and light. As the years have gone by, life has chipped away at my sense of wonder and possibility. I’m tired of being jaded.

It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve smoked a cigarette. Three. Weeks. I don’t have to ask you what I wish for in this regard …

I’d like very much for my health to continue as it’s been going, as well as for my friends and family.

I’d like my girlfriend to know that, in spite of everything, I do love her.

A little luck. A little money. A little adventure. A few miracles. Maybe a road trip alone.

And as much peace as the world can stand.